I Pledge Allegiance to The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Drew paced around her green bedroom, picking up various clothing items that littered the floor, shoving them in drawers. “I got this vintage corset at a flea market a few months ago. It’s going to shine on stage!” She laughed and folded it in half. It was covered in rhinestones, but some were missing. She will patch it up in her free time. Her next show is not for a few more weeks.

While her room vividly was green, it was visibly messy. Covered from ceiling to floor in posters and art. Whether it was posters of different kinds of sharks, bands, LGBT+ pride flags, or vectors she drew in her animation classes, there were too many things to look at.

I pointed to a pamphlet with nothing but a quote on the front. “What was this for?”

“My dad passed away when I was in high school, about a month and a half before I graduated. We didn’t get along when he was here, but I do really miss him. They say it gets easier. I’m waiting for that to happen.”

I shared my condolences, and we moved on. “So, why sharks?”

“I don’t know.” She smiled.

“You don’t know?”

“I lied, I do know. Because they’re the greatest. There are so many different species and they’re easily the coolest and most misunderstood animal in the ocean. I like to call myself a full-time douchey art kid and a part-time ocean hoe.”

“What does being a “part-time ocean hoe” entail?” The curiosity was killing me.

“Drawing sharks and going to aquariums. Also having your Instagram name be Poseidon’s Bitch.” Oh.

Drew continues to clean her room. Her hair is styled in a short, well-maintained pixie. Her eyeliner is winged and her lipstick is matte red. I asked her when she cut her hair.

“My freshman year of high school. It was the best decision I ever made.”

“What made you want to do it?”

“I presented as a boy for about a year. It was a phase.”

“What do you mean it was a phase?”

“I thought I was transgender, but I was really just depressed and easily influenced by other sad teenagers on the internet. Have you ever heard of Tumblr? There are dangerous places on that website.”

Drew’s cat, James, strolls in her room and jumps on her bed. He’s grey with white paws and a white stripe from his chin to his stomach. She picks him up and starts cooing at him. James was adopted Drew’s sophomore year of high school when he was only 10 weeks old, around the same time she saw Rocky Horror Picture Show for the first time. She did not think she was a cat person until she met him and she did not realize how Rocky Horror would shape her life.

“I was unprepared for my first show, but that’s the best way to do it. Never ask anyone what to expect, just go into it. I had a complete out of body experience and continue to have the greatest days of my life whenever I go. I love that you don’t know what something is going to mean to you until you experience it and move on.”

“I know exactly what you mean.” I really did.

“Can you believe that? You do something small and then months later you realize how impactful it is. Like one time I met this guy who was sitting at an information table for a club on campus and didn’t think anything of it, but I ran into him a few weeks later and we ended up dating for a year and a half. Life! He never went to Rocky Horror with me. Whatever.”

“Did he like sharks?”

“No, it ended up being a soft spot in our relationship. We went to a few aquariums together, but he didn’t appreciate them to the full extent I believe they should be appreciated.”

“What did you have in common?”

“Animation.”

“Does he want to be an animator, too?”

“Yes, but it’s his entire life. It’s only a part of mine. He, unfortunately, was not Poseidon so I could no longer be his bitch.”

“Whose bitch are you?”

“I guess...I guess I’m no one’s bitch. But at the same time...I kinda belong to The Rocky Horror Picture Show.”

The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a 1975 musical science-fiction horror-comedy film by 20th Century Fox. Produced by Lou Adler and Michael White and directed by Jim Sharman, the film seemingly has a cult following. Rocky Horror is based on the 1973 musical stage production The Rocky Horror Show, with music, lyrics, and a book by actor Richard O'Brien. The production is a parody tribute to the science fiction and horror “B movies” of the 1930s through to the early 1960s, meaning it was a low-budget commercial movie, not an arthouse film. Along with O'Brien, the film stars Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon, and Barry Bostwick. The show is narrated by Charles Gray and is often performed with cast members from the original Royal Court Theatre, Roxy Theatre, and Belasco Theatre productions.

The story of Rocky Horror focuses on Brad and Janet, a newly engaged young couple. In what has become a classic with a cult following, Rocky Horror begins on a late-November evening in Denton, Ohio. On the wild and rain-swept evening, the “stereotypically innocent” young partner’s car breaks down in the rainstorm after suffering from a flat tire near a mysterious mansion. After deciding to approach the mansion to seek refuge and a telephone to call for help, they notice that it is occupied by people in extensive costumes celebrating what appears to be an annual convention. Brad and Janet then uncover that the head of the house is no one other than apparent mad scientist Dr. Frank N. Furter. Dr. Furter is characterized as an “alien transvestite” who spends his time creating a mysterious man in his laboratory. The couple is then seduced by Dr. Frank N. Furter, and as their obvious innocence is lost, the young couple is introduced to the people of Dr. Furter’s house. The people of the house include a mass of different characters, including a rocking biker and a creepy butler. Through elaborate dances and rock songs, Frank N. Furter unveils a muscular man named “Rocky”, his latest creation.

“I have a cat named Rocky!” I got him in high school, too.

“No way! He should meet James. They can be cat friends.”

Drew continued cleaning her room. She was quiet for a few moments.

“Can I ask you about the show?” I figured it was a good time to ask.

“You should go in unprepared.”

“Will you tell me about it anyway?”

She pauses to think. “Sure, but I’m not telling you everything.”

Drew starts off with a warning: she would absolutely not recommend The Rocky Horror Picture Show if you are easily offended, a prude, or lack openness. You can be shy, but only because the show might bring out your crazy side. The Rocky Horror Picture Show deals with complicated and “sensitive” subject matters in an unorthodox way, also known as dealing with maturity with immaturity. If sex, drugs, rock and roll, adultery, cannibalism, incest, cross-dressing, aliens, bisexual watersports, suggestive eye movements, and the absolute most important aspect, singing, and dancing, are not for you, you might not have what it takes to be a diehard Rocky Horror fan. Also, if you are in any way a film critic, stay away. We are here for a good time, not a critical one. Always proceed with caution.

“There are really only five things you need to know about Rocky Horror. Let me explain.”

First of all, the first time you go, despite your sexual history, you will be called a virgin. There will be people in the theatre, like Drew, who are die-hard fans. They will know every line, every response, and have seen the film or show at least 50 times. They are the reason why it is considered to have a cult following. If you are one of the ones who can say every line in the movie by heart, you are a Veteran.

If you have been the show twice or more, you are getting closer to your Veteran label.

If you have never seen this movie in a theater before, even if you have seen it in the comfort of your own home, they have one name for you. It is Virgin. And what do they do with the Virgins? They sacrifice them.

Before you even go into the theater, people will come out to greet you, but in a seemingly abnormal way. They will be holding red lipstick, ask you if you are a show virgin, and if you say yes, they will begin to draw all over you. The drawings will vary, but you will most definitely have a giant "V" somewhere on you where everyone can see it. Being a Virgin is almost an honor. Before the show starts, the cast or the host calls all of the virgins up to the stage in order to display them in front of the audience. Then, they say some ritually, culty chant, and allow their subjects to go sit back down. This part is often very intimidating to first-timers, but to the others in the audience, it is no big deal. Just funny. A right of passage, if you will.

“That sounds scary, do I have to do the virgin thing? That seems off-brand for me. I just want to write and not be seen.” I’m already uncomfortable.

“That’s what I said at first, but then Rocky Horror became my brand. There’s a first time for everything, lady. Just accept it. If you want to blend in you have to participate. You are a virgin. Say it with me, you are a virgin.”

“I am a virgin.”

“See, I’m proud of you, you’re learning. Let’s continue.”

Second of all, we need to address the movie itself. The movie part is pretty straightforward. It is like seeing every other movie in a theater. You sit down and watch a movie in silence, like always.

As if.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show prides itself on audience participation. There are times where you dance, where you sing, where you recite lines from scenes word-for-word. There are times when you can and are encouraged to use foul language, profanities, and be generally sexual in nature. Consensual and respectful, but still sexual. The audience is just quietly reminded that: “audience participation is a lot like sex, if you don't participate, you can't cum”.

“Do they really say that?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

People and the outside public in general often judge Rocky Horror’s cult following, but many of the diehard fans agree that the movie is not as spectacular as they may make it seem. It is simply enjoyable and exists to be mocked and to brighten the lives of the average. People who attend Rocky Horror are encouraged to just have fun with it. Especially if you are a virgin.

Thirdly, props are very, very important. Simply put, since it is a production based on audience participation, there are aspects that the audience has to do. The list is long, but things to bring include rice for the wedding scene, water pistols, glow sticks, toast, party favors, toilet paper, a bell, condoms, Newspapers, party hats, playing cards, and even latex gloves.

“Do you have to bring all of that?”

“No, but you can.”

“Is it like a pick and choose situation?”

“Yes, or a don’t pick and don’t choose.”

“What’s the significance?”

“That’s more of a you-have-to-go-to-find-out thing. Remember, we can talk all you want, but you have to actually experience it.”

“But why water pistols?”

“For when it rains.”

“Oh?”

Fourth, the time warp. Or in other terms, “let's do the time warp again”. The time warp is the part of The Rocky Horror Picture Show where the entire audience is encouraged to get out of their chairs, avert their eyes from the big screen, and get into the aisles to dance. If you do any dancing during Rocky Horror, it is definitely to the time warp. Also noted as one of the most simple dances ever, it is very easy to follow along. All you need to do is listen to the lyrics.

“It’s a jump to the left,

And a step to the right!

Put your hands on your hips,

And bring your knees in tight.

But it’s the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane!”

Last, but not least, go along with it. Embrace the culture. Enjoy the jokes, the fun, and the cult aspects of it all. Make The Rocky Horror Picture Show your own, it is always more fun that way. Above everything, people go to have a good time.

“What is one thing I absolutely shouldn’t forget?”

“What do you mean?”

“Going into it, what should I remember?”

Drew pauses. “Janet is a slut.”

“Is that really it?”

“Well, and that Brad is an asshole. And you’re a virgin. It’s okay to feel naked when you go. We’re an accepting bunch.”

My theatre of choice was The Nuart Theatre, Drew’s first Rocky Horror home. Located on Santa Monica Boulevard just west of the 405 freeway in the heart of Los Angeles’s Westside, The Quart Theatre has been operated by Landmark since 1974.  Since it’s extensive renovation in 2006, it has featured an exciting mix of programming; it prides itself as “one of the country's most renowned and prestigious epicenters for independent film, foreign language cinema, documentaries, animation festivals and restored classics”. In addition to hosting unique movies every Friday night at midnight, the theatre is also one of Los Angeles's home for The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which plays every Saturday at midnight, or 11:59 PM to be exact. Tickets are only $15 (including a $1 non-refundable service charge), but refunds are given up to exactly 1 hour before the show starts.

In the name of Rocky Horror, I was ready to proceed with caution. I was ready to pledge allegiance to the lips of The Rocky Horror Picture Show and to the decadence for which they stand.

It was two days after Thanksgiving. November 24th. I texted Drew.

“You’re sure you can’t come tonight?”

“I’m so sorry dude :( you’ll have a great time!” Will I?

I bought two tickets and asked my cousin, Dennis, to come with me. He said he would only do it if he could get drunk, which I agreed to. I was not about to go alone. I decided to play it safe in regards to my outfit. White Vans, fishnets, denim shorts, my black leather fanny pack, and an XL black long sleeve circle neck t-shirt. Participating in the culture, but keeping it an arm's length away. Dennis wore jeans and his fraternity’s Fall 2018 rush shirt. Classic.

At 11:15 PM, we got on the 2 freeway.

“I’m going to debrief you, this is not going to be the usual movie experience that you’re used to.” How was I supposed to explain to a UCLA ROTC buzzed frat boy what we were about to be doing?

“What do you mean?” What do I not mean?

Dennis and I got to the theatre, found parking, and got in line. Even at 11:40 PM, the line was wrapped around the door. I talked to the girl behind me.

“Are you a virgin? Have you been here before?” I was cringing at myself.

“Nope! First time.” Just like me!

Dennis and I eventually get up to the front of the line without seeing anyone get drawn on with lipstick. I showed the ticket girl the tickets I bought online printed out and in my hand.

“Umm...you have to trade those in at the ticket booth.” She points behind her. Not only do I feel like a virgin, but I also look like one.

We trade them in and got back in line. The ticket girl scans our tickets, looks at my fanny pack, claimed that it was not a purse, and sent us inside. I texted Drew.

“I just saw a man wearing nothing but short gold spandex”

“Sounds like home!”

After Dennis bought a beer and a large popcorn (with extra butter), we walked in on the right side. Back row sounds safe, right? Maybe not. I wanted to see the whole screen. I settled for the right side, 5 rows from the back. Safe. Invisible. Close to the exit, but far enough where I would not be tempted to make a quick escape. Observing eyes are on. Dennis offers me popcorn. I take it.

The Nuart Theatre has been showing The Rocky Horror Picture Show for more than 30 years and therefore has hosted the cult followers more than 1,500 times for weekly performances. Los Angeles’s premier Rocky Horror home continues to put on a “scandalously raucous and side-splittingly debaucherous show”. After it’s 7-year hiatus, it sparked near hysteria among the crowd of past regulars in 1985, which resulted in the Sins O’ the Flesh theatre company being born two years later. Every week, the cast and crew provide their own costumes, makeup, props, and set pieces, asking only for donations at the end of the evening.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show has proven to be a celebration of alternative lifestyles, sexually liberated people, all while being extremely open-minded and welcoming. The Nuart Theatre’s production of The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a free-spirited experience for the LGBTQ community and anyone looking for a good time on a Saturday night.

Dennis finishes his beer, turns to me, and asks me if I would want one if he got another.

“I’m not 21, dumbass.”

“I know, but do you want a beer?”

“No it’s okay, I’m driving.” Yes, one beer is enough to get me buzzed. He stands up and leaves.

I look around, the audience is pretty full. I do not recognize anyone, but I was not sure if that disappointed me or made me feel relieved. People were wearing everything from cocktail dresses to bras with spandex. There were people in suits and people in pasties. Eventually, a girl walked on stage, settles everyone in the crowd down (as much as they could be), and starts on her seemingly rehearsed speech. Her name is Devon Streeton, an aspiring actress from Southern California. She was in a Domino's Pizza commercial that came out a few weeks ago. She played “girl who almost kisses a boy but then leaves to go eat pizza”. I can relate.

Emcee Devon started by insulting the “old people” in the center of the back row. She addresses the crowd and says, “that’s where all the old people go!” A wave of relief washed over me, I’m glad I did not sit there. She continued.

“Holy shit this is going to be a good fucking show for you. Let’s go over the announcements and some rules.”

At The Rocky Horror Picture Show, not everyone is of age. Yes, there are newly 18-year olds in thong bodysuits, men in spandex, and people in lingerie, but there are also people under 18. Therefore, there is no touching anyone you do not know and no being graphic with the people you do know. Simple. Easy. You are also required to be respectful, not to fight, and adhere to the theatre’s policies regarding substances.

“Ah, yes, fighting...that sounds and feels like home! But none of that here.” Ouch. She continued.

At the Nuart Theatre, they run a tight ship. They do this every weekend, how could they not? They sell alcohol, so it is allowed, but they will absolutely scan your ID under blacklight to ensure that it is not fake. If they catch someone with alcohol that was not ID’d, they are not too shy to take pictures of you and post it on their Facebook wall of shame. There is also no bringing in substances. They cannot stop you from doing it beforehand, but if you get caught bringing it in, you will be banned. I leaned over to Dennis.

“Thank God they didn’t check my bag, my off-brand Lactaid looks like ecstasy.”

“I wish we did ecstasy.” I gave him a look and he laughed.

Devon continued talking about the drugs and fire policies.

“If you overdose and need to die, go die somewhere convenient like a 7/11. I don’t wanna get charged for that. Also, I don’t want any of you butt fuck ‘I don’t know where Arkansas is’ weirdos taking out any lighters. Steve Jobs didn’t put a flashlight on your phone for you to hold a fucking lighter and light yourself on fire.” Aggressive, but true.

Devon continued by talking about the show in general. You are encouraged to enjoy it, so dancing is practically required. If you have props, use them. If you know the words, say them. If you love the performers, tell them. Then, she starts talking about the virgins. I perked up. This was my time to shine.

“Everyone stand up. Thanks, yeah, that’s great. Okay now sit down if you’ve seen the show 100 or more times.” A handful of people sit down. “Wow, you’re so edgy I bet your parents never loved you. Okay, sit down if you’ve seen it more than 20 times. Okay, 15 times? 10 times?” At this point, more and more people were sitting down. “5 times? 3 times?” Dennis and I were still standing. “Okay, is this anyone’s second time?” A lot of people sit down. “And now...who are our virgins?” The theatre goes crazy. People are clapping and cheering, including Devon, for roughly 30 of us standing. “Our virgins! I know why you’re finally joining us. God decided to not be lazy like the rest of us and send you our way. Welcome!” I was waiting for her to call us on stage, but she didn’t. I texted Drew again.

“They didn’t invite the virgins on stage!”

“Really? Weird. Let me know what they do.”

Instead, Devon asked for all the audience members celebrating their birthdays to come on stage. All nine looked excited.

“None of us care about anything about you other than your name and how old you’re turning. Other than that, I really don’t give a shit.” They go down the line and share their new ages, which range from 18-56. I hope I’m that cool when I’m 56. Scratch that, I hope my friends are cool enough to come with me when I’m 56. Devon brought 8 chairs on stage for a competitive game of musical chairs,  which was won by an 18-year-old in fishnets and a one piece. On my 18th birthday, I cried by myself in my pajamas because no one could hang out with me.

Then, Devon sits the birthday people down, exits the stage, and the lights dim. The audience goes wild. The Rocky Horror Picture Show was starting!

The actor’s names start to appear on the screen and the yelling continues.

“Another helping of curry, please! Slut! Asshole! What’s your favorite color?” This is it. “Where do you get your drugs? Kiss ass! Ugh! Eddie, Eddie!” Who’s Eddie? “Chuckie Grey, he’s okay, but he’s got no fucking neck!” I laughed. It did look like the actor had no neck.

The yelling drowned out the movie. I forgot that I was not there to critique the film. Drew’s voice was echoing in my head. If you are in any way a film critic, stay away. We are here for a good time, not a critical one. I was not there to sit down and watch a movie in silence like always.

I found myself torn between the idea of watching the movie or join a party I was unsure about and trying to scream the phrases I did not know. A tire pops? You scream “only rubber in the whole damn movie and there’s a hole in it?”. The narrator comes back? You scream “where’s your neck, sir?” Someone says anything about the master’s affairs? You scream “which one?”. I could go on, but I do not want to give too much away.

Around 2:15 AM, the movie ended and people started shuffling out of the theatre. Devon thanked us for coming and we thanked her for the laughs.

I did not want to diss Drew, but I texted her after I left anyway.

“I don’t get it, but I accept it.”

“You don’t have to get it. Everyone just has to experience it for themselves!” I am not meant to be a Rocky Horror Picture Show cult follower, but she’s right. Experiencing it for yourself is all of the fun, easy, and worth it.