More Beautiful Things

Elephant in the room: it has been two months since I have posted anything. My blog was down for a week because I did not renew my Squarespace subscription right away. I miss Silent Retreat. Spring 2019 has been, for lack of a better term, kicking my ass. Life recently? It has been tough.

I have not had any time to write, but when I do, it is in the form of a finsta caption. I figured I would share some of them, you know, since my finsta is pretty wholesome. I know that people always expect fiestas to show the most wild aspects of people’s lives, but mine is truly me with no filter. As in I talk about how tired I am & how much I love God pretty much every day. Here are some of my recent posts (I guess you could say that this is my second installment of “Beautiful Things”), since I know you miss my words (kidding, obviously):

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1. I dislike the phrase “blood is thicker than water” because the actual phrase is “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb” (which is the opposite) & let me tell you, the blood of the covenant...she is thick!! I love my friends & I love my family :,)

2. “Romantic tension” is a very interesting concept that recently came to me via a car ride with Jack Palen. I’ve been sitting with for a few days & I’ve gotten to the point where I lowkey believe in it & I think I feel it with someone. However, we wait for the one, we do not wait for someone to become the one. I’m at a place where I don’t want to let other people make me feel like I have to wait around for them.

3. I really be out here being the Jesus girl. That is really my brand. Can you believe that I was an atheist for almost 7 years? I’m coming up on 3 years as a Christian this June & I’m kinda alarmed how much that has happened in those 3 years.

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I figured I’d take a moment to share some ways in which I see/feel God—because I know that can be a very foreign concept for people and even if one person needs this right now, it’s definitely worth sharing.

The two ways I feel God the most are through signs and in other people. When I get a weird feeling to walk a different way to class & run into someone I know & love, I feel God. When I get bored during my daily routine & decide to go get a muffin from the den & end up running into someone I haven’t caught up with in a while, I know that’s God. When I’m having a shitty day & someone I love randomly comes to Greek Light and ends up making a huge impact on my day, that’s God.

God is the leaves that fall on my head when I’m studying on the first floor of University Hall, He is the yellow lights I almost made but didn’t (I always think of red lights as moments to slow down & take deep breaths), & He is finding Milano’s in my purse and giving them to someone to brighten their day. He is every challenge, every celebration, & always an invitation. But my favorite thing about Him is that He is all the times you’ve looked back and thought “I had no idea what was happening in my life then, but I get it now”.

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Things I’m grateful for: friends who genuinely want what’s best for me, are understanding, caring & loving. Friends who lift you up when you are down & can make you feel better by simply running into them & staying to talk for 5 minutes.

Things that are challenging me: understanding that chaos is inevitable & not everyone is going to be your friend all the time. Not everything you wish was good for you is good for you & not everything you’re good at makes you feel good.

Basically, a few months ago one of my friends told me that someday I was going to need to learn how to say no. I think I’m up for that challenge, finally.