Feeling Lost

I’m lost. Genuinely don’t know what’s been happening in my brain recently. Also can’t tell why. I really don’t like being away from people, so it could be because I've been away from my LMU friends and the boyfriend, but I'm not sold. It's just difficult because communication is so much harder when you’re not talking in person. I hate miscommunication.

I’m lost. I feel a lack of voice and passion. I’m afraid that who I project is not who I am, which is scary. That makes me feel like I either don’t have the right people around me...or worse...I don’t know myself.

I’m lost. I feel like I’ve been too safe, I like to keep to what I know. But I could know the things I don’t know. I could do the things I’m afraid of, I could spend more time out doing things. I need to speak my mind. I need to be a better advocate. I want to be someone who can be heard.

I’m lost. I feel like I need a thousand new beginnings, but at the same time, I want none of them. I want to cut my hair short, but I love my long(ish) hair. I want to get a tattoo, but I don’t want to hear people’s opinions on it. I want to do something new, but I like what I do now. I want to change, but I’m so afraid of it.

I’m lost. I feel very conflicted. I (a little bit) feel like I haven’t been myself recently, but I’m also not that sure. I feel like it’s impossible to not be yourself. Or at least really exhausting. And demanding a lot of effort, which I haven’t knowingly done, so it doesn't make much sense to me.

I’m lost. But I guess I feel this way all the time.

Moving forward: I hope that I find myself in 2018. I feel like this is going to be my year. I haven’t said that in a long time, but I’m ready to live a little more. Here’s to new things!! I’m excited about what the future has in store.

Also, Gossip Girl is making me crazy!!! I feel like I can’t binge watch shows because I always go a little crazy...


Lizzie Bromley